Understanding Trust Issues: Causes and Steps to Overcome Them

It’s not always easy to trust others. But those with trust issues may feel unable or uncomfortable trusting anyone. 

These issues can make it hard to form and maintain fulfilling relationships with others. For example, a 2020 study found that a lack of trust increased the risk of problems in romantic relationships. 

However, there are ways to overcome trust issues. In fact, we’ll provide several helpful tips for addressing these issues. We’ll also explore potential causes and signs of trust issues to help you understand them better. 

What are trust issues?

Trust issues can take many different forms, and sometimes they can result in an individual struggling to place trust in others. They might not know who they can trust, how much trust to give others, or when it’s safe or risky to trust someone. 

Trust issues can affect different areas of life, such as relationships with family members, romantic relationships, friendships, and work relationships. Someone with trust issues might assume that loved ones are being dishonest with them — even if they have no logical reason to think so. 

Signs of trust issues 

Occasionally not being comfortable trusting someone — or only trusting someone a little — doesn’t necessarily indicate trust issues. But there are certain behaviors or signs that may indicate struggles in this area, such as:

Constant doubt and suspicion 

People who have trust issues tend to question others’ motives and actions. They usually don’t have any evidence that supports their suspicions or doubts — but they may still believe that others are being dishonest or betraying them. 

For example, someone who has experienced betrayal before might assume that their partner is cheating on them or planning to do so. These assumptions happen even without any signs of betrayal occurring in the relationship. 

Difficulty opening up

For those who have a fear of trusting others, opening up and showing vulnerability can be incredibly difficult. They might avoid sharing their feelings with others, preferring to only talk about surface feelings and subjects. 

This can happen due to a fear of being hurt or betrayed. Some may worry about being teased for talking about deep or personal feelings. Or they may worry that the person they share these feelings with might betray their trust and confidentiality. 

Fear of vulnerability 

Individuals with trust issues might be afraid to show any emotional vulnerability. They may fear being rejected or worry about experiencing emotional harm if they do. 

For example, someone might avoid showing feelings for a partner they’ve recently started dating — even if they really like them. They may worry that this vulnerability will automatically lead their partner to reject them. 

Jealousy or possessiveness 

People who struggle with trust issues might become extremely clingy or possessive in their romantic relationships or friendships. They might feel intense jealousy when a friend or significant other spends time with someone else — or even just interacts with others. 

This can happen when individuals are afraid of losing relationships or being betrayed. They may resort to extreme possessiveness to try and prevent this from happening, which often has the opposite effect, driving friends and partners away.

Overthinking or paranoia 

For those who have trust issues, taking what people say or do at face value can be tough. They may overanalyze others’ words and actions and convince themselves that the other person intended to do them harm.

An individual with trust issues might overanalyze a genuine compliment they received from a co-worker. They may become paranoid that their co-worker was being passive-aggressive or insulting and actually dislikes them.

Emotional withdrawal 

Individuals with trust issues might become emotionally detached from others. This isn’t because they don’t like or love other people in their life. It’s actually a defensive measure that often arises from a fear of being betrayed. 

They may think that being emotionally withdrawn or detached is a way to protect themselves from feeling emotionally devastated if a betrayal occurs. 

Difficulty forgiving 

Being able to forgive others is an important part of trusting, fulfilling relationships. But those with trust issues may have a hard time forgiving even slight transgressions. 

For example, they might refuse to forgive a friend for forgetting to call when they said they would. Those with trust issues often hold onto any betrayals and hurts they’ve experienced, instead of being able to forgive and move on. 

Assuming and anticipating betrayal in relationships

Trust is a key part of close relationships. Without it, individuals might assume or anticipate that others will betray them. There doesn’t have to be any evidence or signs that this is occurring — or could occur. 

Those with trust issues have a difficult time believing that a partner will stay faithful. This may be due to past betrayals or infidelity in their life or other negative or traumatic experiences. 

Avoidance of commitment 

Trust issues may show up as a fear of commitment. Those who have trouble trusting others might end relationships rather than make a commitment to romantic partners. 

They might avoid getting too close or serious with anyone out of fear of being hurt or betrayed. This self-sabotage may prevent them from forming lasting relationships.

Steps to take for overcoming trust issues 

Trust issues can keep people from building solid relationships or partnerships with others. Rather than miss out on this important part of life, you can take steps to address and overcome these issues. We’ll go over some tips for doing this in the following sections.  

Meet with a mental health professional 

Overcoming trust issues often involves getting to the root cause. You might not know why you have these issues or where to even start the healing process. 

But a mental health professional may be able to help you figure this out based on your life experiences — and guide you through the process of addressing trust issues. They can provide a safe space for you to learn how to move past and heal from trust issues and connect with others. 

Set healthy boundaries 

Working through trust issues takes time and effort. Having boundaries in place can help you feel secure as you learn to trust others. But the boundaries you set should be clear and respectful. 

For example, you might let loved ones know that a certain topic of discussion, such as a past traumatic event, is off-limits. Doing this can help you feel safer interacting with others and eventually opening up to them — when you’re comfortable enough to do so.

Communicate openly with others 

While setting boundaries, keep in mind that having open and honest communication with others is an important part of rebuilding trust. It’s okay if there’s a specific experience you don’t feel safe discussing. You may feel comfortable enough to bring it up in your own time, or you may decide that you’d like to keep it private, and that’s okay too. 

The key is to work on being able to communicate transparently with others. This may involve showing vulnerability — but it also helps foster mutual understanding between yourself and the important people in your life. 

Practice self-compassion 

Overcoming trust issues can be a lengthy and challenging process. You might feel frustrated or lose motivation at times. But avoid being hard on yourself if you struggle or experience any setbacks. 

Treat yourself with patience and kindness as you go through this journey. It’s not an easy one — but it’s an important one to take for your well-being. 

Rebuild trust gradually 

Trusting others after dealing with trust issues for years won’t happen overnight — and you shouldn’t expect it to. Focus on rebuilding trust gradually over time instead of trying to rush through the process.

Go slowly and start by taking small steps to build trust in your interpersonal relationships, and don’t forget to look back on how far you’ve come.

Talk to a therapist with SonderMind 

Having rewarding, healthy relationships that enrich your life might not seem possible if you deal with any type of trust issues. But understanding what’s causing these issues and taking steps to overcome them can help you achieve this goal — and boost your quality of life!

SonderMind can connect you with a therapist to guide you through the process of addressing trust issues and learning to connect with others again for meaningful relationships.