How to Deal with Frustration: 9 Tips for Handling Difficult Situations

Everyone experiences frustration from time to time. You might feel frustrated when a friend cancels plans. You might be frustrated with yourself when you make a mistake at work. 

Although frustration isn’t a clinical diagnosis, it is a common response to life’s challenges and usually doesn’t last long. However, experiencing frustration frequently or on a long-term basis may lead to emotional strain. If your frustration is directed inward, you may develop low self-esteem — and if it’s directed toward other people, it may cause issues in your personal life or at work. 

Below, we’ll break down how to recognize frustration and offer some practical guidance for dealing with it more productively. 

Understanding frustration 

So, what exactly is frustration? It’s a common emotional reaction to stressors and may be mild or severe. Again, it’s not a clinical diagnosis; rather, it’s how you might feel in certain situations — like when things don’t go as planned.

Feeling frustrated is natural and only becomes problematic when it interferes with your daily life or affects your well-being. For example, frustration may drive a wedge between you and a loved one or affect your interactions with your coworkers. 

People can feel frustration for all sorts of reasons, and what frustrates you may not frustrate someone else and vice versa. 

Common causes of frustration 

The causes of frustration can take many forms. Everyday situations can cause it. Major events or stressors in your own life — or even in other parts of the world — can cause it. But the first step toward dealing with frustration more adaptively is identifying what triggers it for you. Some of the most common triggers include:

• Interpersonal conflicts
• Finances
• Job-related problems 
• Lack of control
• Life challenges 
• Stressful current events
• Unmet expectations 

Emotional signs of frustration 

What does frustration feel like? This emotional response can show itself in many ways. You might feel angry when you’re frustrated, or you might feel helpless. You might also experience a mix of emotions, including:

• Anger, hostility, or rage 
• Anxiety, excessive worry, or nervousness
• Disappointment or feeling let-down  
• Helplessness or fear 
• Impatience or feeling on edge 
• Irritability or moodiness 
• Resentment or feeling like you’ve been treated unfairly 
• Restlessness or agitation 

Keep in mind that these signs can also be symptoms of something else that may be affecting your emotional well-being. If these feelings interfere with your day-to-day activity or quality of life, consider talking to a therapist.

How to deal with frustration: 9 steps 

Frustration is a natural part of our lives, and while you can limit your exposure to certain triggers, it may not be possible to eliminate frustration entirely. However, you can learn to handle frustration adaptively so it doesn’t overwhelm you or interfere with your emotional wellness. 

1. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness helps you develop inner calm that can ease feelings of anger or other signs of frustration. It makes your brain’s amygdala (the part that kickstarts stress responses) less active. 

Mindfulness involves being present and focusing on your surroundings rather than worrying about the future or past. You don’t need special training or a lot of time to practice it. You can make mindfulness part of your daily routine in the following ways:

• Eat mindfully, paying attention to the taste, smell, and texture of your food.
• Focus on each of your senses in the present moment, such as what you can hear or smell.
• Focus on your breath while inhaling or exhaling slowly.
• Mentally scan your body for areas of physical tension.
• Think of a few things you’re grateful for each day.

2. Draw on social support 

Talking to trusted friends and family members or professionals, such as therapists, may help you navigate frustrating situations. Talking through frustration may help you get those feelings out instead of holding them in — which might lead to even more frustration. 

Loved ones or professionals might also help you see your frustration trigger from a different perspective. Let’s say you keep feeling frustrated with a co-worker. A friend might help you put yourself in your co-worker’s shoes to understand their point of view. This can help ease disappointment, anger, or other signs of frustration.

Building a social support network means you’ll have someone to talk to when you’re feeling frustrated. You can start with friends or family, then expand your network based on the source of your frustration. For example, you might look for online or in-person support groups for dealing with grief if the loss of a loved one is contributing to your frustration. 

Connecting with others provides you with important emotional and psychological benefits. According to a Psychiatry study, social support helps people cope more effectively with stress and improves emotional well-being. This kind of support may also boost your self-esteem and help you gain confidence. 

3. Reframe negative thoughts 

When you’re frustrated, your mind may race with negative thoughts. For example, say you’re disappointed with yourself for being late to an important appointment (again). You might think that you’re doomed to be chronically late or that you can’t do anything to change this behavior. 

Identifying those unhelpful thoughts is the first step to reframing them. When you reframe them, it helps shift your perspective on the situation. In the example above, you might put a positive spin on it: Think of it as a sign to use reminders, set alarms, and leave early to get to your appointments on time from now on rather than beat yourself up about it. 

You can also use a technique called “examining the evidence.” When you recognize negative thoughts or thought patterns, ask yourself questions to see if they hold up under scrutiny; you may often find these thoughts aren’t as powerful as they once seemed!

4. Engage in stress-relieving activities 

Holding frustration inside doesn’t do you any good. Those feelings of anger and irritability may take a toll on your emotional or physical health when you bottle them up. Finding ways to ease stress helps release pent-up energy and frustration so you can move forward. 

What can you do to relieve stress? An Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback study finds that physical activity helps reduce stress, so add exercise to your daily routine. You can go for walks, lift weights, or even dance around your living room to stay physically active. 

Make time for hobbies like drawing, gardening, photography, or whatever interests you. Hobbies can give you a creative outlet for easing frustration and stress — while also learning new skills.

5. Try relaxation techniques 

Finding ways to relax can help break the hold frustration has over you. When you’re frustrated, being able to calm down isn’t always easy. Relaxation techniques offer simple ways to calm your body and mind during frustrating moments or situations. 

Give these relaxation techniques a try the next time you’re feeling frustrated:

• Deep breathing: Take slow, deep breaths to calm your nervous system and slow your heart rate. 
• Guided imagery: Picture being in an environment you find soothing, like the woods, a sunlit meadow, or the ocean.
• Meditation: Focus on a mantra, your breathing, or something visual, like a candle flame, while letting thoughts drift gently through your mind.
• Progressive muscle relaxation: Focus on relaxing your muscles, working on one muscle group at a time.

6. Journal your feelings 

Talking to someone about frustrated feelings isn’t always comfortable, but there’s another way to get your feelings out. Journaling can be a great way to express and process your feelings. 

Writing in a journal lets you get your thoughts and feelings down on paper, so they don’t take up space in your mind. A study published in a 2020 issue of The Permanente Journal shows that writing can be an effective way to reduce stress and improve emotional wellness. 

Grab a pen and paper, or open a blank document on your laptop or phone. Start small, giving yourself a few minutes to write down what’s on your mind. You can gradually increase the time you spend journaling as you get used to writing about your thoughts and feelings. 

7. Prioritize proper sleep 

Getting a good night’s sleep can go a long way toward helping you handle frustration. Quality sleep — and enough of it — can help ease irritability and make it easier to regulate your emotions. When you’re well-rested, things that usually frustrate you might not have the same effect.

Sleep deprivation can have the opposite effect. A 2018 scientific review in Cureus finds that being sleep-deprived is linked to increased anger. More recently, a 2021 meta-analysis finds that improving sleep quality improves mental health. 

So, do what you can to make proper sleep a priority. Keep your bedroom comfortable, cool, quiet, and dark. Go to bed and wake up around the same time each day to regulate your circadian rhythm. Avoid excess visual stimulation before bed and opt for a relaxing, screen-free activity (like reading) instead. 

8. Maintain a self-care routine 

Taking good care of yourself — physically, emotionally, spiritually, and in your relationships — can help you deal with frustration on a regular basis. Focusing on your own well-being helps ease stress and takes your mind off of frustrated feelings so you don’t dwell on them. 

Make self-care part of your daily routine. What you include in your routine is up to you and depends on what you like doing or what brings you joy. For example, your self-care routine might include a daily walk, a warm bath, and soothing music. 

9. Meet with a licensed therapist 

As touched on above, talking about feelings of frustration or frustrating situations in depth can help you work through them, and a therapist can provide this kind of guidance and support. Through therapy, you can learn to identify what frustrates you and how to handle these situations in adaptive ways. 

Finding a therapist who fits your specific needs is important, whether you’re looking for anger management or help with another issue related to frustration. But you might not know where to start looking for one. At SonderMind, we offer a simple way to pair you with the right therapist who can help you approach frustration more productively. Simply tell us a bit about yourself and your therapeutic goals, and SonderMind will connect you with a licensed therapist who meets your needs. 

Connect with a therapist today with SonderMind 

Frustration can be overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. With the tips above and the support from a therapist, you can build valuable skills to help navigate frustration more adaptively. 

When you experience frustration that affects your daily life or quality of life, it may be time to seek help. Let SonderMind help pave the way — find an online or in-person therapist today.