From Gaslighting to Narcissist: Commonly Misused Pop Psychology Terms (and What They Really Mean)

As we strive to destigmatize mental health, evolving how we talk about mental health plays an important role in reducing stigma and helping to create an environment of acceptance and understanding.

But are we using the appropriate mental health terms correctly? 

With social media platforms now being a major player in how we communicate about mental health, it's essential to make sure we understand what we’re talking about.   However, it’s not always easy to find reliable information. 

In this article, we'll demystify some of the most commonly used mental health and pop psychology terms, and explore how they are discussed on social media and in society. We’ll also share how SonderMind can help you get connected to a licensed therapist if you’re experiencing a mental health concern, so you can get the personalized care you need to feel better, faster.

Commonly misused mental health terms

1. Gaslighting

What it means

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and mental manipulation intended to leave you questioning your own reality. It gets its name from the 1944 film Gaslight in which a husband tries to convince his wife she’s lost her mind by dimming the gaslights at night, and denying it in the morning, causing the wife to think she’s lost her mind. A more modern example might be downplaying or dismissing your concerns and feelings, or making you feel like your perception of events is always wrong.

How it’s misused

Gaslighting doesn’t just take place between significant others. It can happen in any relationship. Gaslighting is a serious form of emotional abuse, but it is sometimes used too casually to describe minor conflicts or disputes. Accusing someone of gaslighting can be a way to shut down opposing viewpoints or invalidate someone's perspective without engaging in a productive conversation. This misuse of the term can hinder open discussions and compromise.

2. Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

What it means

OCD is a disorder where an obsession, like cleanliness, drives a compulsive behavior, such as hand washing/cleaning. What characterizes OCD is the disruption of daily life – it’s typical that those experiencing OCD do not feel at peace until they give in to their compulsion. And even when they do, the respite is brief. 

How it’s misused

Today, it’s not uncommon to hear someone remark that they need to clean because they’re “so OCD.” However, having a preferred way of doing things, or being more organized than average, is not in and of itself an indicator of OCD. 

3. Bipolar disorders (BPD) and manic episodes

What it means

Bipolar disorder is actually an umbrella term for a category of brain disorders that includes bipolar I, bipolar II, and cyclothymic disorder. Someone with a bipolar disorder experiences extreme changes in mood and behavior that is noticeable by others for a period of at least one week. A person can transition between manic states where they experience hyperactivity, insomnia, and sometimes delusions of grandeur to depressive states characterized by lack of motivation, suicidal ideation, and/or irritability. 
 

How it’s misused

Of course, people without bipolar disorder also experience mood changes (as we all do), but these changes typically only last a few hours. This term is commonly misused to describe typical mood changes, which are not the same as someone experiencing bipolar disorder or manic episodes.

4. Depression

What it means

One of the most common mental health conditions affecting Americans today is depression, with more than 17 million adults experiencing at least one major depressive episode in the past year. During a depressive episode, mood and/or interests are decreased for most of two weeks. Depression is also usually characterized by persistent feelings of self-loathing and low self-esteem.

How it’s misused

Depression is not the same thing as sadness, although the two terms are often used interchangeably – feeling down for a day or two is not the same as being depressed.  Additionally, depression is not something that can be “fixed” just by trying to cheer someone up or changing their outlook. Clinically-diagnosed depression takes professional treatment and lifestyle changes in order to manage symptoms.

5. Triggered

What it means

The word “triggered” has become part of internet culture, and for those of us who grew up on the internet, a normal part of our lexicon, whether as a meme or to describe a feeling of intense emotional distress. 

In psychology, the term “trigger” refers to intense emotional distress one might feel when suddenly faced with something that reminds you of a past traumatic event. Triggers can cause your body to react as if the trauma were happening again. For example, if you hear a firework go off, you might immediately begin to feel yourself go into fight or flight mode. The firework reminds you of the sound of gunfire when you were deployed overseas.

How it’s misused

One of the most common misuses of "triggered" is to describe a strong negative emotional reaction to something relatively minor or mundane. For example, someone might say they were "triggered" by a mildly upsetting comment or a disagreement. People also may use "triggered" as a catch-all term for any emotional reaction, whether it's anger, sadness, frustration, or anxiety. It is also sometimes used in political or ideological debates to dismiss or belittle opposing viewpoints. This misuse suggests that the person expressing distress or strong emotions is simply overreacting rather than engaging in a valid discussion.

6. Narcissist

What it means

Chances are that one self-obsessed classmate or acquaintance isn’t suffering from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). To be a narcissist is to believe you are superior to others and have a grandiose sense of self-importance, leading you to feel you deserve more success and power than others; a willingness to exploit others, a general sense of entitlement, and an inability to empathize with others.

How it’s misused

NPD is a fairly uncommon diagnosis, affecting anywhere from 0.5% to 5% of the general U.S. population, with a greater prevalence in men than women. Sometimes people who display high levels of self-esteem or confidence are labeled as narcissistic, when in fact, the term is being misused as an insult or in a derogatory manner.

7. Trauma bond

What it means

Trauma bonding is an attachment that develops from a cycle of physical and/or emotional trauma followed by positive reinforcement; there is a distinct power dynamic between the one inflicting trauma, and the one experiencing it. This is common in romantic relationships, but can also be exhibited between a child and their abusive caregiver, a hostage and their kidnapper, or even colleagues and friends. 

For example, something like Stockholm syndrome is a type of trauma bond. It’s a psychological response to being held captive, where people form a psychological connection with their captors and begin sympathizing with them. It’s important to note, however, that not all trauma bonds are Stockholm syndrome.

How it’s misused

Some may think this term is referring to two individuals who experienced the same traumatic event, like a car accident. Being involved in an event where you and another person experiences a traumatizing situation doesn’t mean you have a trauma bond to that person. 

8. Antisocial

What it means

It’s no secret that humans are social creatures. We thrive in groups, and isolation is unnatural for us. Social anxiety is a fear of social situations, and can be caused by any number of factors. It can involve a fear of evaluation from others, or even a fear that one’s behavior will not be accepted. Antisocial behaviors are the opposite — they involve avoiding interaction with others and rejecting attempts to connect with them. 

How it’s misused

Antisocial is sometimes used to describe those who exhibit more introverted traits, like feeling energized by spending time alone. The reality is that people who exhibit antisocial behaviors often have difficulty forming relationships or maintaining them. They may struggle to display empathy or understanding of others’ feelings, which can put a strain on relationships. It’s important to understand that even those with introverted personalities are capable of forming meaningful connections with other people.

9. Codependent

What it means

It’s not uncommon to hear someone joke about how codependent they are in their romantic relationship – and for some, it might be their relationship default, as codependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down through generations. It can be difficult to know when you’re in a codependent relationship because to some extent, we all depend on our significant others for things in our lives. In codependent relationships, there’s an excessive reliance on your significant other for a sense of well-being, identity, and self-esteem, a lack of boundaries, and the fusion of identity; there’s trouble distinguishing between your own desires and needs from those of others.

How it’s misused

Codependent is often misused in place of dependent. Dependence is characterized by mutual support, respect, and interdependence where you can acknowledge your need for support from others without feeling ashamed or guilty about it. 

10. High-functioning depression

What it means

"High-functioning depression" is not a clinical term or diagnosis, but rather, a way people commonly express that while they’re depressed, they’re doing a good job at hiding it. People with “high-functioning depression” can look and act like they’re functioning “normally,” but still experience emotional pain and difficulty in life, like job stress or relationship issues. 

How it’s misused

You won’t find the term “high-functioning depression” in the DSM-5 because it’s not a clinical diagnosis. It’s simply a layman’s way of describing depression that often presents as a milder form, which can be difficult to detect or acknowledge.  

11. Adult attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)

What it means

Adults can experience ADHD in adulthood, but there are specifics to the diagnosis, and “Adult ADHD” is not a clinical term. See our article for an in depth exploration. The main takeaway is this: in order to be diagnosed with ADHD, someone must show symptoms of ADHD before age 12. ADHD can be diagnosed after age 12, as long as symptoms were present before then. 

How it’s misused

Generally, those who experience ADHD in childhood will also experience it in adulthood. It is more common for women to be diagnosed later in life, compared to men. The term ADHD is often misused to simply describe someone who appears unfocused or easily distracted (aren’t we all a little distracted, these days?). Moreover, it shouldn’t be used to refer to someone who lacks motivation or focus; this  doesn’t mean they have ADHD and could actually indicate another issue such as generalized anxiety disorder or depression.  

What you say matters

Understanding the true definitions of mental health terms and using them correctly is important to destigmatizing mental health. Misusing these terms can undermine the seriousness of mental health conditions and the experiences of those who have them. So if you hear someone misusing a mental health term, don’t be afraid to speak up and correct them. It can make a big difference in helping to break down the stigma that still surrounds mental health and help more people feel comfortable seeking the care they need. 

How SonderMind can help
With a stronger understanding of common mental health terms, it can also be easier to know whether or not you may be experiencing a mental health concern. If you’re thinking about seeking professional support, SonderMind is here for you. We pair you with the right licensed therapist for your needs. What’s more? Most people only wait about 10 days after being connected with their therapist to have their first session, which is 55% faster than the industry average of two to three weeks. Start the process today and get connected to a therapist in as little as 48 hours.